In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

310 319

More Chuck Norris facts

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#137

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#527

No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.

#691

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.