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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
#358
182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#713
Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.
#317
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
#569
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
#513
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
#258
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
#248
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
#287
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
#338
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
#240
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
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