Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg. 338 259 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 57% approval (597 votes)
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().