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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
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#139
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
#678
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
#617
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
#544
Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
#402
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
#121
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
#134
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
#347
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
#180
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
#600
Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
#154
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
#193
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
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