Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.