Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. 303 322 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (625 votes)
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.