It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#199

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#572

Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.