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Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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#252
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
#53
Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
#18
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
#594
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
#430
The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
#654
Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.
#279
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
#312
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
#184
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
#181
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
#616
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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