When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#664

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

#404

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#671

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

#674

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#553

Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.