When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#47

Chuck Norris' keyboard has the Any key.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.