When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#25

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

#570

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris' is infinite.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#103

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#315

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#142

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.