When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#558

Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

#316

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#659

Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.