When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#309

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

#675

Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.