When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#703

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#521

The class object inherits from Chuck Norris

#746

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#156

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.