When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#400

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#195

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#454

Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#167

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.