When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#498

MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.