When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#141

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#121

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

#348

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#35

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

#199

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.