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When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
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#10
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
#430
The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
#203
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
#632
Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
#327
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
#486
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#467
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
#595
Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
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