When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#769

Chuck norris can start a fire with ice cubes

#485

Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.

#674

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

#648

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

#365

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.