When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#679

Chuck Norris understands women.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#684

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#28

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#643

Chuck Norris can milk ground beef from a cow.

#88

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.