There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#471

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#694

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.