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Roundhouse your way through
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#225
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
#89
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#622
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
#277
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
#413
If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
#513
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
#579
Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.
#458
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
#720
When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.
#737
When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".
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