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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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#728
Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
#104
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
#438
TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
#487
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
#5
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
#471
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
#47
Chuck Norris' keyboard has the Any key.
#384
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
#143
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
#72
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
#226
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#723
Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.
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