Chuck Norris can milk ground beef from a cow.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#591

Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#320

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.