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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.