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More Chuck Norris facts

#773

While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#772

Condoms wear Chuck Norris for protection.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.