Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#695

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

#156

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.