Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#679

Chuck Norris understands women.

#417

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.