Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#707

Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#152

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.