Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts". 271 266 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (537 votes)
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.