If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#709

Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.