If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. 267 315 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (582 votes)
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.