If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#235

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

#138

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

#119

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#570

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris' is infinite.