If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#520

Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#563

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

#195

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#124

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

#618

Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.