If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#689

Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#618

Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#174

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#620

Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.