If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#546

Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

#215

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.