If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. 267 316 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (583 votes)
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.