If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#681

Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#205

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#592

Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.