Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#129

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#668

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#82

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.