Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

294 296

More Chuck Norris facts

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#613

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

#348

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#443

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.