Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#129

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

#260

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#663

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

#21

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.