Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#471

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#320

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.