Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#583

Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#430

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.