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Chuck Norris remembers the future.
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#492
Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
#642
Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#305
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#205
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
#347
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
#490
All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
#36
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
#226
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#56
Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
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