It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#492

Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#536

Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.