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It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
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#493
Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.
#111
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
#741
Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.
#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#223
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#571
The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
#61
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
#507
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
#270
Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.
#448
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
#634
Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
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