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Roundhouse your way through
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It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
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#724
Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.
#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#243
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#249
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
#435
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
#408
Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
#416
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
#229
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
#297
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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