One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"