One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.