One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

253 338

More Chuck Norris facts

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#659

Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.

#613

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#251

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

#331

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.