Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#345

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

#600

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#152

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

#71

Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.