Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

301 322

More Chuck Norris facts

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#111

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#553

Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#584

Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.