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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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#406
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
#419
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
#774
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!
#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#136
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#439
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
#478
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
#575
Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
#691
Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
#423
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
#516
Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
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