Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. 301 322 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (623 votes)
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".