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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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#30
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
#212
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
#411
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
#425
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
#619
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
#727
Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.
#607
Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
#195
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
#670
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#327
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
#177
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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