Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

293 319

More Chuck Norris facts

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#610

Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#21

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.