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Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.
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#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
#9
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.
#53
Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
#108
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
#511
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
#257
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
#418
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
#550
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
#483
Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
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