Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#667

The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.

#331

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#396

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

#722

Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.