Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

252 302

More Chuck Norris facts

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#35

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#370

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.