Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#622

Chuck Norris can remember the future.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#722

Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#417

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.