Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

#671

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#592

Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#382

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.