Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#304

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#149

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

#424

When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.