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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.
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#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#557
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
#542
Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
#622
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
#589
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
#722
Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.
#616
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
#739
Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.
#701
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
#306
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
#639
Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
#417
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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