Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#703

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#620

Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.

#563

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.