Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

252 309

More Chuck Norris facts

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#572

Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.

#21

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#720

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#513

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"