Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#677

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#142

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.