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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
#334
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#482
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#106
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
#288
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#725
Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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