Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

223 312

More Chuck Norris facts

#258

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#498

MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).

#743

The moon's shadow doesn't dare follow Chuck Norris.

#507

Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

#141

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

#47

Chuck Norris' keyboard has the Any key.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.