Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#461

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#83

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

#600

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#222

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.