Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#737

When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.