Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#664

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#111

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#185

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.