Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

290 332

More Chuck Norris facts

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#773

While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.