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Roundhouse your way through
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#630
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
#194
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
#360
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
#287
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
#295
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
#424
When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
#685
Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.
#304
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#203
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
#542
Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
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