Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#694

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#690

Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#179

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.