Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

290 329

More Chuck Norris facts

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#404

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

#611

Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#112

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.