Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#746

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#558

Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#167

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

#272

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.