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Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
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#501
The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
#563
Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
#125
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
#92
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#400
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
#360
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
#694
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#66
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
#45
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
#86
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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