Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#611

Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.