We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. 357 325 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (682 votes)
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.