We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. 358 324 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (682 votes)
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.