We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. 357 325 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (682 votes)
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.