We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#695

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#10

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#83

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

#405

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#517

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.