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Roundhouse your way through
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It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
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#589
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
#626
Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.
#715
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
#59
Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
#347
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
#468
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#413
If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#121
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
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