It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#774

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#646

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#738

COVID-19 is desperate to develop a vaccine against Chuck Norris.