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The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
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#359
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
#628
Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
#143
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#170
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
#437
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
#426
Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
#648
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
#618
Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
#563
Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
#586
Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
#281
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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