The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

278 272

More Chuck Norris facts

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#614

Chuck Norris can watch the radio.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#25

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.