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Roundhouse your way through
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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#323
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
#366
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
#144
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
#180
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
#631
Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".
#486
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
#321
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
#172
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
#445
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
#279
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#306
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
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