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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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#275
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
#262
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
#235
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
#324
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
#243
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
#392
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
#434
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
#403
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
#282
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
#172
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
#450
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
#390
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
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