When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken. 328 304 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (632 votes)
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.