When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#706

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#136

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

#349

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

#379

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

#172

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

#285

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.