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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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#645
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
#120
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
#178
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
#431
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
#472
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
#87
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
#644
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.
#258
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
#548
Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
#89
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#664
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
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