When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#594

Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#288

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#503

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#285

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.