Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head. 329 246 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 57% approval (575 votes)
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.