Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#532

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.