Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#233

Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#119

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.