Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

#696

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#237

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

#456

The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#205

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.