Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#458

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.