Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#71

Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#650

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#641

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.