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Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.
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#211
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
#611
Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.
#80
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
#101
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
#704
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
#10
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
#241
Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#584
Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
#453
Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
#189
There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
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