Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#443

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#324

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.