Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#461

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#507

Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#411

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.