Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#648

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#349

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

#746

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

#430

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.