The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#235

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#4

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#417

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#653

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.