The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

271 304

More Chuck Norris facts

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#623

Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.