The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#676

Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.

#359

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#387

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#112

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.