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The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
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#555
Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
#53
Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
#226
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#145
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#247
Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
#584
Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
#35
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
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