The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#611

Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#322

Chuck Norris can taste lies.