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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#405
The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
#309
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#72
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
#137
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#661
Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.
#515
To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
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