Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

286 330

More Chuck Norris facts

#514

Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#676

Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#471

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.