Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. 286 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (616 votes)
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.