Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#191

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#530

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.