Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. 286 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (616 votes)
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.