Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

286 330

More Chuck Norris facts

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#35

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

#25

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#460

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#691

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.