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Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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#207
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
#9
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.
#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#157
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
#165
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
#388
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
#42
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
#669
Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#469
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
#393
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#515
To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
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