Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face. 266 272 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (538 votes)
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.