Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#592

Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#119

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#654

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.