If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#258

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

#331

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#294

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.