When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.