Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever. 279 394 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 41% approval (673 votes)
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.