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There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
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#226
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#320
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
#429
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
#281
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
#771
Thunder is the sound caused by Chuck Norris kicking Lightning's ass.
#366
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#260
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
#339
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#170
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
#418
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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