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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#217
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#571
The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
#189
There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
#225
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
#305
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#28
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.
#458
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
#52
Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.
#502
Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
#558
Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.
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