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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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#82
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#694
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.
#314
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
#373
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
#137
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
#61
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
#142
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
#642
Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.
#410
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
#436
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
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